Child Bereavement Support Information for Schools, Families and Communities
As you may be aware, there has been a recent child bereavement in South Cumbria.
The information below aims to support your family, school or community at this difficult time.
It is often hard to know what to expect, what to say or do when an event like this takes place and people will react in their own way. This is the case both for children and young people, and the adults who care for them.
Feeling sad is a normal response to any loss regardless of how close to an event a person may be, some people may not be affected, whilst some will experience a great deal of sadness.
These responses are completely normal.
In the first days and weeks:
Everyone is unique and will react differently, but typical reactions to such a tragic event can include:
- Shock
- Disbelief
- Stress
- Nervousness, fear or anxiety
- Difficulty sleeping
- Worry
- Low mood
- Irritability
- Anger
These feelings are completely normal reactions.
For some people who have been bereaved previously, these reactions may be compounded and might lead to feelings of hopelessness or helplessness.
We are all individuals and there is no right or wrong way to be coping or feeling. We all have different ways of responding and circumstances can vary greatly, from those with strong extended networks to those who are more isolated or do not have friends and family they can turn to.
In the following weeks and months:
For most of us, especially if we have never experienced problems with anxiety or low mood before, these psychological effects will lessen over time and with support from our peers and community.
A period of ‘watchful waiting’ is advised, which means just keeping an eye on yourself and others and checking out how things are going.
Ask - it won’t harm. Listen - it might help.
Talking about how someone is feeling with someone can ensure they get the right support.
What to do and where to get help if you’re concerned about your own or someone else’s emotional wellbeing
There are things that can help yourself or that you can encourage others to do:
- DO take time to sleep, rest, think, and be with those important to you
- DO try technique such as mindfulness
- DO understand that memories and feelings may stay for some time to come – this is your mind’s way of trying to make sense of it all, to feel in control of it, even if you couldn’t control it
- DO say what you need clearly and honestly to family, friends and others
- DO let children talk about their emotions and express themselves in games / drawing
- DO be kind to yourself and others
- DO share feelings and talk about what’s happened when you need to, sharing your feelings can help you and others.
Remember, seeking help is sensible and is not a sign of weakness. Please see below for people or organisations that can help.
Digital Wellbeing
The internet and social media are an amazing resource can be helpful and enable people to connect, communicate and be creative in a number of different ways, on a range of devices. However, it can also prove a place of challenge due to the large, and sometimes inaccurate information, so it is vital that parents. carers and professionals have an understanding of the digital world in which many people, especially children and young people, exist.
We can support people by having open, honest and supportive conversations about their activity on social media, gaming and the Internet to better understand, and prepare them for, an often hidden world.
Resources for parents/carers, schools and those working with young people.
The website also has activities and information for children and young people themselves.
What help and support is available?
Support and Services information
Further information on bereavement and other emotional wellbeing and mental health services can be found on the LSCB website.
Kooth.com
Children and young people aged 10-19 can access free, safe and anonymous online support at kooth.com.
The website offers information, counselling, advice and support online regarding emotional well-being and mental health and other issues. It is staffed by fully trained and qualified counsellors and emotional well-being practitioners.
Cumbria Family Support
Cumbria Family Support helps families with children to get through difficult times.
Mindline Cumbria
Offers information and support for people experiencing mental health problems, including their families, friends and carers.
Mindline: 0300 561 0000 Mon to Fri 12 noon - 11pm | Sat, Sun and Bank Hols 5pm - 11pm
Primary Mental Health Worker Service
The Primary Mental Health Worker service offers consultation and advice to professionals and parent/ carers about services in the area that can support children and young people’s mental health and emotional wellbeing. Email: pmhw.mytime@barnardos.org.uk, or call: 01539 742626
Talking Therapies
Talking Therapies can help with a variety of problems including bereavement, anxiety etc.
You can speak to your GP for a referral or contact the service direct:
- South Cumbria (South Lakes and Furness) ring 0300 555 0345
- North Cumbria (Eden) ring 0300 123 9122
Visit the Lancashire and South Cumbria NHS Foundation Trust website for more information.
CancerCare
CancerCare offer advice and support for adults and children for any type of bereavement
National helplines and support
Childline comfort, advises and protects children 24 hours a day and offers free confidential counselling. Call 0800 1111 or chat 1-2-1 with a counsellor online
Samaritans - 24 hour confidential listening and support for anyone who needs it. Call 116 113 or email jo@samaritans.org
Young Minds - Help if you are feeling worried or anxious regarding a range of issues including bereavement, self-harm, bullying, eating disorders and exam stress. Visit youngminds.org.uk.
Parents and carers can get help and advice around children’s mental health from Young Minds free parent helpline on 0808 802 5544 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am-4pm).
Livewell - Information for parents and carers about when to be concerned and how to get help for teenagers.
Winston’s Wish - Providing specialist child bereavement support services across the UK, including in-depth therapeutic help. There are also a number of resources and publications to help support children and young people. Call 08088 020 021 for free advice and guidance.
They also have a young person’s page to support children and young people to make sense of bereavement.
Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement.
The Bluebell Foundation provides support for people experiencing grief associated with loss during pregnancy, death of a baby, child or young person. They also provide support for children and young people up to the age of 18 who are grieving through the death or anticipated death of someone important to them.
National Bereavement Alliance offer support for those affected by a bereavement and also have the Grief Support Guide.
The Good Grief Trust website has a wealth of help, support, resources for all.
Brake’s National Road Victim Service - Content them if someone you love has been killed or seriously injured in a road crash. They're open Monday to Friday 10am–4pm. Anyone can refer by calling 0808 800 0401 or by visiting their website. There are other helpful documents on the website for children., young people and adults/parents/carers too.
Support for professionals
Support for any professional who has been involved with a child death.
Further Support
If you have concerns about a child’s emotional health:
Westmorland and Furness Family Help
If you have serious safeguarding concerns regarding a child please follow your normal procedures or find further information for either Cumberland or Westmorland and Furness Safeguarding Hubs on the CSCP website.
If you wish to discuss your concerns first, please call your local authority safeguarding hub:
- Cumberland: 0333 240 1727
- Westmorland and Furness: 0800 373 2724
Additional support for schools
E-School Nurse – 5-19 Public Health Nursing Team provide health support and advice for children in Cumbria and offer an easy to access online E-School Nurse Service.
The video clinics are available for professional, parents and carers across the whole of Cumbria all day Tuesday and Thursdays.
To book an e-school nurse appointment, call 01228 603973 between Monday and Friday from 8am until 4pm.